My wonderful little man and I have been butting heads lately. He's 8. He thinks he's 13. He's a smart little cookie ( too smart sometimes). He's trying to assert some independence. He's asserting it all right.....by giving me a particularly hard time, by attempting back talk and by being extremely moody!
During a 'because I asked you to' moment, he blurted out " I'm going to stay at my dad's house". Caught off guard but staying quick on my feet I calmly responded "Well, next time I speak with him I'll mention it". Now, understand, my son has NEVER stayed at his fathers. His father has, shall we say, moved on. Also know, we have not heard from my X for over a month now. No calls, no visits, no e-mails...nothing. Not uncommon, but very frustrating. I know that my little guy's comment was just an 'I'm mad at you' statement and that he didn't mean it, but it still really stung.
I really just don't understand how he does it...my X that is. Somehow, with minimal (actually almost non-existent) interaction, repeated let-downs, a lifetime of inconsistencies, he has still managed to wave some sort of magic wand over my son's head to make himself important (to a point).
I have to wonder, if I was not single and my son had a 'father figure' who was consistent in the house, would my X still have his magic power?
2 comments:
No, I think every child with an "absent" father has room to fantasize, build them up, hope that they are better than they really are. You know? I am expecting to face these very issues in a few years ... just give him a big hug - or take him putt-putt golfing. Keep the bonds going strong with activities. Not sure if I even know what I'm talking about on this ... just wanted to let you know I feel you pain (or at least my future self does) and I LOVE your blog.
Thanks MSM! Little man and I had a chat last night...a heart to heart....he's understanding how I see his behaviour lately and I've made it clear how I felt about it. He listened well and had a few things of his own to say. I listened well. The evening ran smoothly, the morning ran smoothly...lets hope things continue....More consistency and firmer limits from my end, better listening and less resisting from his end. We've always had a close relationship and kept the line open....
And thanks! I ADORE your blog too!
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