Friday, May 9, 2008


“I’ll try and do anything and be anything you want, if you’ll only keep me” (Anne Shirley)

It took me a very long time to actually find out ‘who’ I was. Before my X, I was so young and still discovering who I was supposed to be, where my place in this great big world was. It wasn’t until my early thirties (and yes...that was just a year or two ago...LOL), that I finally found ME.

My twenties were almost completely taken up by trying to become who I thought my X wanted me to be. I just couldn’t get it through my head that I was good enough as myself. If I did something that was criticized (which looking back was quite often), I would change my approach, even though the original was probably just fine! I kept my hair long because that’s how HE liked it, I wore certain clothes because that’s how HE liked it, I didn’t voice my opinion because he might not like it. My life became his and I was lost. Who I was didn’t matter any more. The more I tried to be who he wanted, the farther I became from myself.

After leaving him and having time to heal, I found time to discover just who I was…who I am. One day, while looking into the mirror as I was getting ready for work, I had to stop. Looking back at me was a strong, attractive, intelligent, self sufficient woman. Someone who had opinions, someone who had thoughts and feelings, someone who was loved and who loved. Someone who mattered. At that moment, I had to smile and promise myself that I would never lose who I was again…for anybody.

Bottom line…discover who you are, love and accept who you are, and never change…who you are.

(photo courtesy of

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