Friday, May 2, 2008

EEEEEK! A Few Dating Horror Stories


In light of a recent blog I’ve read about on-line dating and found quite entertaining (thank you MsSingleMama) I thought I’d share a few of the entertaining, yet somewhat scary dates I’ve had in the past little while. It is quite incredible how a perfectly normal sounding guy, suddenly turns into someone else entirely once you actually meet in person!

Bachelor #1 – According to his profile he’s 43, attractive (and his photo agrees), self-employed, owns a ranch (yes I googled him!) and is ready to find romance….I agreed to meet him. First of all…HOW MANY YEARS AGO WAS THAT PICTURE TAKEN??? I’d say 53 …maybe….,(maybe it's just me but I have a bit of an issue dating someone who seems older than my own father) secondly, ever heard of personal space and boundaries? Please don’t try to sit in my lap when you’d like to speak to me and breathe heavily in face while you wait for a response!

Bachelor #2 – According to his profile, he has 2 kids, divorced, has a job, owns his own house..ok, let’s go on a date. Oh, did he forget to mention that his ex girlfriend co-owns the house and is still living and working with him. Oh, and she has no plans to move out, and neither does he. He also forgot to mention that no significant other of his would be “allowed” (yes I said allowed) to earn an income outside of the house because it’s his job as the man of the house to bring in the $ and her job to raise the children.

Bachelor #3 – Good looking guy, no children, good job, likes to travel. We meet at a restaurant for apps and drinks…and then he asks “would you mind taking off your shoes and putting them in my lap so I can rub your feet under the table?”….I am soooooooooo outta there!

And finally…

Bachelor #4 – Nice guy, bit of a romantic, comfortably well off, similar interests. lets meet! I think he posted a picture of a cousin or something because it kinda looked like him, but it was clearly NOT really him. His offer to take me to dinner..ok…had a nice evening, but no sparks (nothing, nadda zip), I offered to pay my half of the bill, but he refused, I tried to insist but lost…ok…I go to say goodnight and am pinned against my car as he forces a kiss on my mouth and I have nothing to compare it to other than a small wet oyster sitting limply and slimy on my lip. First of all…..EWWWWWWWW….(I was too grossed out) and secondly, I did NOT appreciate the feeling of being forced and it was a clear violation of my boundries. Not a happy camper was I! Needless to say, HE was not a happy camper when he left without ample feeling in all areas of his person. (oh ya..and he had the NERVE to send me harassing e-mails until I blocked him)

I tell ya…dating is a tough and scary business….but I refuse to give up! If nothing else, I have something to talk (and laugh) about! LOL…. Any horror stories of your own?

3 comments:

dadshouse said...

Hey there, found you through MsSingleMama (love her blog). Oh man, online dating is famous for people putting up old pics, or pics of cousins/friends/siblings - anything that makes them look better. I hear you completely!

Tracy said...

Thanks for your comment dadshouse...and welcome! I always appreciate a single dad's opinion!

Ms. Single Mama said...

So scary! #4 is especially freaky! Sigh. Where are all of the good ones?