Thursday, May 15, 2008


as per request I've moved! Now you can now find me here:
(photo courtesy of

Today is my anniversary!

7 years ago today, I began a new life...without my X

7 years ago today, I began a search of my self

7 years ago today, I vowed to give my son a better life

7 years ago today, I stepped into a life of strength and Independence

7 years ago today, I took a breath of fresh air and did not choke

7 years ago today, I hugged my little man and assured him the future would be bright

7 years ago today, I was re-born.

Happy Anniversary to Me!
(photo courtesy of

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

So sleepy.....

Will I ever have a good night's sleep again?

I can't remember the last time I had a solid, restful night's sleep. Nope, it's not the worry. Nope, it's not the caffeine.....what ever could it be? Hmmmmmm.......

Let's see....could it be either the little person stirring me because of a bad dream, or the dog who has taken up snoring, or the stuffy nose (thank you Ms. Spring Allergies), or is it because my body has decided a 2am pee is mandatory, or maybe it's just because my body decides to yell "WAKE UP BRAIN...LET'S DRIVE HER CRAZY FOR A LITTLE WHILE" I can say with my whole heart...thank heavens for coffee!

When did you get your last good, solid night's sleep?

(photo courtesy of

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

It’s all about the testosterone!

Last night was my son’s return to football. After a 5 week break, spring-ball full tackle football has started. Granted my son is just a Myte (the youngest division), but man, do they still hit awfully hard!

It was this time last year that he began this journey. I already knew for a couple of years that he wanted to play…we were just waiting until he was old enough to join the league. I’m a strong believer in participating in SOMETHING active (particularly a team sport because it teaches you so much). Well, my son chose football. Spring ball was a good move because it taught him the basics and prepared him for the fall…when it was more competitive and BRUTALLY physical.

I cringed each time my little man got knocked over, but admired him as he picked himself up every time. To add to my dismay, he was the youngest…and smallest on the team, both seasons…but that did not deter him. Nor did it have an effect on his team mates. It was sweet how they took him under their wings, protected him on the field and patted him on the back for his trials. He has charisma and determination and won the respect of his team. Now we get to start it all over again….

Proud mama…can you tell…..?

Monday, May 12, 2008's Monday.....

It’s Monday, and I’m back at work. My wonderful mother’s day behind me….As you can see, I received a beautiful Mother’s Day gift and card from my special little man.He was quite proud to explain the process of how he made his creation...all by himself. I was also the fortunate recipient of a beautiful pair of Pink Pearl drop earrings from my little man (with clear and obvious help from my parents ).

It’s a Professional Development Day for my little guy, so that means…NO SCHOOL! So guess who came to work with me today and is currently making a new creation for my wall! It’s always an exciting day for him when he comes to work with me. Everyone totally gushes over how much he has grown since the last time, he is given little tasks to do all day and leaves with a little cash in his pocket! Oi! To be a kid again!

What does your little one do on those school PD days and you still have to go to work?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, May 9, 2008

It's and ouchie day....

Poor little man is not feeling very well today. He has a fever. He has a headache. He’s cranky…. He wants to play on the computer!

Nothing tugs at your heart strings like your munchkin feeling ill. Thankfully I have groceries in the house and keep the first aid cupboard properly stocked with things for bumps, bruises, headaches and tummy ouchies. Little man’s day will be spent on the couch, all curled up and snuggled in. My day will be spent housecleaning and worrying about what may be causing his upset.

Lots of fruit, cheese and crackers on the menu (just ‘cuz he doesn’t like chicken soup!) and hopefully with a lot of rest and some mommie-love, he’ll be good as new by tomorrow…
(photo courtesy of


“I’ll try and do anything and be anything you want, if you’ll only keep me” (Anne Shirley)

It took me a very long time to actually find out ‘who’ I was. Before my X, I was so young and still discovering who I was supposed to be, where my place in this great big world was. It wasn’t until my early thirties (and yes...that was just a year or two ago...LOL), that I finally found ME.

My twenties were almost completely taken up by trying to become who I thought my X wanted me to be. I just couldn’t get it through my head that I was good enough as myself. If I did something that was criticized (which looking back was quite often), I would change my approach, even though the original was probably just fine! I kept my hair long because that’s how HE liked it, I wore certain clothes because that’s how HE liked it, I didn’t voice my opinion because he might not like it. My life became his and I was lost. Who I was didn’t matter any more. The more I tried to be who he wanted, the farther I became from myself.

After leaving him and having time to heal, I found time to discover just who I was…who I am. One day, while looking into the mirror as I was getting ready for work, I had to stop. Looking back at me was a strong, attractive, intelligent, self sufficient woman. Someone who had opinions, someone who had thoughts and feelings, someone who was loved and who loved. Someone who mattered. At that moment, I had to smile and promise myself that I would never lose who I was again…for anybody.

Bottom line…discover who you are, love and accept who you are, and never change…who you are.

(photo courtesy of

Thursday, May 8, 2008


‘Toronto school board trustees will vote on a plan later this month to open an Africentric alternative high school in 2010.
The motion was approved last night by a school board committee as an extension of a proposal to open an Africentric alternative school from kindergarten to Grade 5 in September 2009. The high school program could be located in an unused part of an under enrolled high school.’

How on earth am I supposed to raise my son with the understanding that all people are equal, the same and should be treated as such if crap like this keeps happening! In my view this is just a step backwards.

Ryerson Professor Grace-Edward Galabuzi said while critics say Africentric schooling smacks of segregation, "it would be a way to actually integrate them – substantively – by providing an education that reflects their social and cultural realities."’(

How is separating someone from the mainstream of society and teaching them about how they are so different going to enforce the thought that we should all be seen as the same regardless of race, religion or sex? How is segregation a form of integration? Can some of the curriculum that they are wanting to teach not be brought into the schools that already exist as an elective or even part of the regular curriculum? I mean, we already have dropped the Lord's Prayer, taken out Christmas and Hallow e'en celebrations from our schools so that 'we' don't offend anyone and/or their religion. What more are 'we' going to do? Quite frankly I'm appalled by the thought and am frightened for my child's future!. How can you embrace and learn about the world if you are separated from it?

(photo courtesy of

The Boob Droop

I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve been noticing…the droop.

Alright, I admit, I’ve never been ‘perky’ because let’s face it, I’m not a small girl on top. But still, with age, weight fluctuations and breast feeding, the girls just haven’t been as happy as they used to. I have friends that can happily run around without support and sometimes I envy them. I’m afraid if I tried that I’d be sore, scary looking and afraid they would never stop aching to reach the floor!

Breasts come in all shapes and sizes...droopy, firm, small, enormous, saggy whatever. Most women's (large) boobs droop no matter what unless you've got super strong pectorals. And who said they had to be firm anyway, the breast police?

Here’s the question…..would you have something done to help lift the droop? For me, the answer is nope. If they’re gonna’ droop then they are gonna’ droop! We grew up together, for heaven’s sake. To alter them is like altering me…and why would I want to do that? Not that I’d just go carefree and let them loose or anything. I always give them proper support, but as for a lift…..I don’t think so.
(photo courtesy of

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Bwaaahaaaahaaaaaaa......this made me giggle

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie For $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.' The amazed father asks: 'It's what?!
Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, and one of Ken's Friends.

(photo courtesy of

Oh Indy..............

Ok yes, I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo excited about the SATC movie coming out. I have all the seasons on DVD, and yep, I’ve been watching them to make sure I am adequately prepared. I’ve been a fan since it began…..but… much as I am looking forward to this movie I have to admit, I am just as excited about Indiana Jones!!!

Call me crazy, but something about Indy just ‘does it’ for me. It could be his slight sarcasm and ruggedness, it could be his thirst for adventure, or maybe it’s just that quirky smirk, but…I get it. I‘m also excited because this is a movie I can share with my son. Again, I have the movies at home (on VHS though) and we watched the first one together so that he could understand my excitement at the upcoming release. He was riveted at the consistent action, he understood the humour, he was as mesmerized as I was.

The Indiana movies are not about sex or war or violence. They don’t have an abundance of swearing. They are about action, adventure, and mystery. Maybe I’m being old fashioned, but I appreciate this kind of good, clean, exciting entertainment once in a while. Makes you kind of wish there was more of it…. So May 22nd just can’t come fast enough for me!

(photo courtesy of

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Words to live by...

"Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave"

(Mary Tyler Moore)
(photo courtesy of

Summer's Coming !!!!!!

I know that it’s only the beginning of May, but I have to prepare for the summer. You would not believe the competition and shortage of room in camps these days. My son is NOT a ‘sleep-away’ camp kid yet. Daycamps are currently the way to go. Every summer I mix and match camps so that his vacation days do not become mundane and boring. But you certainly have to register early because some of those programs fill up fast! In fact, the ones I’ve got my little man in already have limited spacing!

Well, this year, be it ONLY May 6th, I’ve already registered him in 3 weeks of day camp……a whole $630 later!!!! Talk about crazy! I still have 3 more to pay for! Fortunately I’ll be taking a week off and he’ll be hanging out with my folks for another week which certainly lightens the financial strain. Seriously though, what else is a parent to do? Your child needs to be cared for during the months that they are not in school? As a single, working mother, camp shines through as one of the best answers…especially for a school-age child.

But you know, in the long run, I guess it’s worth it. He makes new friends, he trys new things, I know that he is being looked after, he’s not sitting in from of the tv or being bored out of his mind. I remember his little sun-kissed face last year when I’d pick him up from the bus every day and he anxiously told me of the ‘cool’ stuff they did that day. It makes him happy, and that makes me happy.

What are your plans for your little one(s) this summer?

(photo courtesy of

Monday, May 5, 2008

Well this makes sense to me!

Here’s a happy thought….

Police in Toronto could soon have the power to slap a $250 fine on anyone caught smoking in a car with children. Apparently, the Ontario government introduced legislation yesterday to ban the practice and seems to have the support of opposition parties as the bill begins its way through the approval process in the court system.

After reading this article I said to myself…HOORAY!!!! Now don’t get me wrong, smoking is up to each individual person and personally, I could care less if my friends (as adults) smoke or not. BUT, I do care about the effects that second hand smoke has on the tiny lungs our children.

Let’s put it into perspective, remember our clubbing days when smoking was still allowed inside the bars and restaurants? Remember being surrounded in that cloud of smoke? Remember removing yourself from that situation or popping outside for some fresh air? Imagine not being able to go outside to grab a breath of fresh air. As adults, we had that option, as a child stuck in the backseat of a car, they don’t. Many parents practice the rule of no smoking within their homes, but then pop in to the car with their kids and smoke anyway. That kind of defeats the purpose of protecting your kids from second hand smoke...doesn't it?

As an ex-smoker, I can see both sides of the situation and still agree with the proposal. For those that feel this is an infringement upon their personal rights, I say what about your infringement upon the rights of your children.

What do you think?

Saturday, May 3, 2008

It's been a long time.........

It's Saturday morning and I woke up flushed. Yep...had one of 'those' dreams again. The dream was fantastic...but sometimes I miss the real thing.

Call me a romantic or practical or frigid (LOL) but I happen to be one of those individuals that needs to feel an intimate connection before getting into bed (or on top of the kitchen table!) with someone. That means I don't get to see a lot of action (unless it includes batteries). In fact it's been years. I have to giggle at the thought of one becoming re-virginized simply through lack of use! If I went by Charlotte's theory from SATC , I have been re-virginized a few times over!

But, I don't think I'm the only one. After reading a number of articles these days, more and more people are waiting for relationships and fewer are having casual sex. Be it the times, the diseases, the circumstances whatever, people are beginning to hold out again. Part of me would love to be uninhibited and have sex whenever, but another part of me is happy playing things safe....the best of both worlds I guess.
I have faith that it will happen again one day.....maybe sooner than I think. Till then, I'll be happy with my bullet and my 'flushing' dreams....

Friday, May 2, 2008

I swear I didn't use the camera mom!

EEEEEK! A Few Dating Horror Stories

In light of a recent blog I’ve read about on-line dating and found quite entertaining (thank you MsSingleMama) I thought I’d share a few of the entertaining, yet somewhat scary dates I’ve had in the past little while. It is quite incredible how a perfectly normal sounding guy, suddenly turns into someone else entirely once you actually meet in person!

Bachelor #1 – According to his profile he’s 43, attractive (and his photo agrees), self-employed, owns a ranch (yes I googled him!) and is ready to find romance….I agreed to meet him. First of all…HOW MANY YEARS AGO WAS THAT PICTURE TAKEN??? I’d say 53 …maybe….,(maybe it's just me but I have a bit of an issue dating someone who seems older than my own father) secondly, ever heard of personal space and boundaries? Please don’t try to sit in my lap when you’d like to speak to me and breathe heavily in face while you wait for a response!

Bachelor #2 – According to his profile, he has 2 kids, divorced, has a job, owns his own house..ok, let’s go on a date. Oh, did he forget to mention that his ex girlfriend co-owns the house and is still living and working with him. Oh, and she has no plans to move out, and neither does he. He also forgot to mention that no significant other of his would be “allowed” (yes I said allowed) to earn an income outside of the house because it’s his job as the man of the house to bring in the $ and her job to raise the children.

Bachelor #3 – Good looking guy, no children, good job, likes to travel. We meet at a restaurant for apps and drinks…and then he asks “would you mind taking off your shoes and putting them in my lap so I can rub your feet under the table?”….I am soooooooooo outta there!

And finally…

Bachelor #4 – Nice guy, bit of a romantic, comfortably well off, similar interests. lets meet! I think he posted a picture of a cousin or something because it kinda looked like him, but it was clearly NOT really him. His offer to take me to dinner..ok…had a nice evening, but no sparks (nothing, nadda zip), I offered to pay my half of the bill, but he refused, I tried to insist but lost…ok…I go to say goodnight and am pinned against my car as he forces a kiss on my mouth and I have nothing to compare it to other than a small wet oyster sitting limply and slimy on my lip. First of all…..EWWWWWWWW….(I was too grossed out) and secondly, I did NOT appreciate the feeling of being forced and it was a clear violation of my boundries. Not a happy camper was I! Needless to say, HE was not a happy camper when he left without ample feeling in all areas of his person. (oh ya..and he had the NERVE to send me harassing e-mails until I blocked him)

I tell ya…dating is a tough and scary business….but I refuse to give up! If nothing else, I have something to talk (and laugh) about! LOL…. Any horror stories of your own?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Something to Think About...

“With all my little trials and tribulations…I have never yet met with anyone with whom I would exchange places.” (Lucy Maud Montgomery)

How true is that! I’m pretty content with the path my life has chosen to follow. Of course it’s not the way I always pictured it to be while growing up, but really, who’s life is exactly as they thought? Yes I believe we make our own choices, but I also believe that there is a little fate hidden in those choices. After all, what would coincidences be without a little fate thrown into them?

I look at friends, family, and strangers lives and consider them for a moment, but never do I wish I was in their shoes. When you look at the big picture, we all have struggles; we all have gone through things to become who we are today. We all have more self discovery and more growing to do. I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason, be it a lesson to learn or because there actually IS something better around the corner. It keeps me on my toes.

I like who I am. I like who I’ve become. I appreciate the path that got me here. I’m proud of my choices. Sometimes I sit back and think…who I would be if things were different. Would I be happy? Would I have my glorious little man? Do I want to know…..nope, I don’t think so…...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

So, What Would You Do?

My wonderful little man and I have been butting heads lately. He's 8. He thinks he's 13. He's a smart little cookie ( too smart sometimes). He's trying to assert some independence. He's asserting it all giving me a particularly hard time, by attempting back talk and by being extremely moody!

During a 'because I asked you to' moment, he blurted out " I'm going to stay at my dad's house". Caught off guard but staying quick on my feet I calmly responded "Well, next time I speak with him I'll mention it". Now, understand, my son has NEVER stayed at his fathers. His father has, shall we say, moved on. Also know, we have not heard from my X for over a month now. No calls, no visits, no e-mails...nothing. Not uncommon, but very frustrating. I know that my little guy's comment was just an 'I'm mad at you' statement and that he didn't mean it, but it still really stung.

I really just don't understand how he does X that is. Somehow, with minimal (actually almost non-existent) interaction, repeated let-downs, a lifetime of inconsistencies, he has still managed to wave some sort of magic wand over my son's head to make himself important (to a point).

I have to wonder, if I was not single and my son had a 'father figure' who was consistent in the house, would my X still have his magic power?

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I wanna go home....

Ever have one of those crazy, insane days at work where things just aren't making sense or going your way? Well, today is one of those. I work in an office, I'm the office manager in fact. That's the fancy title for "wearer of many different hats and overall wonder-worker" I've had my fill of catching mistakes, fixing blunders, smoothing things over, trying to make things match and dealing with irate people (who by the way happen to be WRONG!) for one day. The thing's only been a half day! My little man had a dentist appointment this morning (look cavities) I'm watching the clock, waiting for the moment I'll turn off the computer and say that's it..I'm outta the mean time...I think I'll take a deep breath and take a where is that Kit-Kat bar?

Monday, April 28, 2008

Why Does it Wait for the Weekends?

It never fails. Somehow it always seems to happen. If and when I allow myself to feel a little under the weather it tends to occur over the weekend. Sure I may feel a little off of the mark during the week...but the weekends are when I'm hit with the whammy. What is that all about???? Why, I have to wonder, can't it happen during the week? At least then I can take a sick day, relax, nap, have some toast and tea...take care of me. This would be attainable because little man would be in school. But alas, the weekend he is not...and there is laundry to be done...groceries to buy...and of course the responsibilities of being a mommy. Fortunately for me, little man is now 8, and therefore does not need constant supervision and entertaining. But, even though 8 seems so big, it's still so small...and supervision still very required..

I will say that I am one of the luckiest mommies in the world. Yes the laundry got done, the groceries did not (but that can be done today after work)....and my little man was on his very best behaviour. He took it upon himself to make Sunday a "take care of mommy day". He kept me tucked in on the couch, kept himself suitably occupied...even made me peanut butter and banana for lunch. I certainly don't feel in any way that it is his responsibility to take care of me, but I think it was awfully cute of him to want to try. Makes me think that just maybe, I'm doing a good job....

Saturday, April 26, 2008

I'm thinking he's ready...

Okay, it's spring in Toronto. That means off with the winter tires, on with the summer tires. I , being the responsible person that I am, made an appointment for this with my mechanic for first thing this morning (and have a few other maintenence things done to my little car) . My mother graciously offered to watch little man while I'm gone for the morning...YAY NANNY! So, I'm wolfing down breakfast as I explain to little man what the plan is for the morning...

"Whatcha' doing mom?"

"Brushing my teeth and making myself all pretty cuz Mommy needs to pop out for a while this morning"

"Where ya going?"

"To get some work done on the car"

" Hmmmmmm....getting all pretty eh......bringing me home a new daddy?"

Me.......suddenly stunned and taken by surprise......"LOL...why would you say that baby?"

"Huh.....because I could use one"...then quietly goes back to his computer game......."But mom....."


"I'll always love you the best...."

I'm thinking.......he's ready.......

Friday, April 25, 2008

Pizza, Pj's, Popcorn and a Movie

It's Friday and I am EXHAUSTED! Nothing like taking a week off to remind you just how hard you actually work! I desperately need to get back into the swing of things but for tonight, I think it's going to be pizza, pj's, popcorn and a movie for me and my little man.

My waistline may not be so forgiving.....but what the heck. My workout regime is scheduled to be put back in motion on Sunday....

Now.....what movie....hmmmmmmmm......

Sometimes I just have to wonder....

I'm not sure about you, but as a parent, I want to be with my child as much as possible. Ok, we all need a break, and I don't mean every second of the day, but I do want to spend some quality time with him every day. I want to know how his day was, I want to give him a hug and tuck him in. I want him to know that I am there for him in every way possible. That being son and I went on vacation last week. We had a glorious time, just the two of us. Something that we will always have to treasure and remember. We've been back for a week now and he has yet to hear from my X.

Woman have been doing it forever...being the primary caregiver and I know that I thrive as a parent. I'm not supermom by any means, and I have so very much to learn, but I love the learning process. I just don't understand how it can be so carelessly one sided. How can a person be a part of creating another life and then just be so frivolous about being a part of it. Is it something that one is born with? I have to wonder because there are many, many wonderful dad's out there, but there are also many who are not so wonderful. In history, it has generally been the mom's responsibility for the rearing of children, but times are changing. I say, you are either in or you are more of this hanging on by a thread. It's really not fair to the emotional impact on a little person to have someone jump in and out of their life so haphazardly.
Thankfully, my son is a wonderful, insightful and caring little boy with a very large heart. It pains me to see how often he forgives his 'father' for his inconsistencies and lack of efforts....but just maybe that is what makes my son a better person than I.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

And that is exactly what it is....

....a brand new day!

Fresh from vacation, the spring air rejuvinating, I figured it was about time that I make a fresh start. Things are good, but could be better.....I swore to myself that this was the year that I would make some changes to move it forward....and I've fallen short so far. Yes, I'm still on that healthier lifestyle track, ys I'm still working out more often than not.....but I am still...painfully...single. Oh no, not the pain as in "feeling sorry for myself and suffering heartche", more like " I' don't want to face anothercouple function and be looked at with pity" kind of pain. Up until now, being single has been fine. Sure I get those lonely moments, but it's also kinda nice. But maybe I'm getting TOO set in my ways. Onwards I must go or one day I'll turn around and discover that I'm 60 and still single! I know...I still have a few good years left! LOL.....but time sure can go fast!